Ben Fischler

"Two bikes"?!

Who only has two bikes? =P

On Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 10:07 PM, Steven Carper wrote:

> You Know You're Addicted to Cycling When:
>
> Your surgeon tells you need a heart valve replacement
> and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.
>
> A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest
> Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for
> your Cobra.
>
> A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.
>
> The bra your significant other finds in your glove
> compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.
>
> You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay
> within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
>
> The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your
> Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight
> on.
>
> You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has
> bar end extenders longer than yours.
>
> You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but
> pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
>
> Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride
> across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's
> the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"
>
> You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
>
> You have stopped even trying to explain to your spouse
> why you need two bikes...you just go buy another one and figure it will
> all work out in the divorce settlement.
>
> You buy your crutches instead of renting.
>
> You convert your car's brake and gas pedals to clipless.
>
> You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection
> between hydration and urine color.
> You find your Shimano touring shoes to be more
> comfortable and stylish than your gunboat sneakers.
>
> You refuse to buy a couch because that patch of
> wallspace is taken up by the bike.
>
> You have more money invested in your bike clothes than
> in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
>
> Biker chick means bla ck spandex, not leather, and a
> Marinoni, not a Harley.
>
> "Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for
> you.
>
> You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young woman ride by,
> and the first thing you check out is her bicycle.
>
> You empathize with the roadkill.
>
> Despite all that winter fat you put on, you'll skim
> weight by buying titanium components.
>
> You use wax on your chain, but not on your car.
>
> Your mud guards are made out of milk jugs.
>
> Your first course when you eat out is a large banana
> split.
>
> When driving, you yell "On Your Left!" on passing
> another car.
>
> You yell "Hole!" when you see a pothole while driving
> your car.
>
> Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's
> odometer.
>
> You wear your riding gloves when driving your car.
>
> You wear your bike shorts swimming.
>
> You wear Charles River Wheelmen T-shirts all the time,
> including under dress shirts.
> Your bi kes are worth more than your car.
>
> You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats
> to allow your bikes to fit.
>
> When you move to a new area the first thing you look for
> is a bike shop.
>
> You have more bike jerseys than dress shirts.
>
> You take your bike along when you shop for a car - just
> to make sure the bike will fit inside.
>
> You use the Yakima or Thule 'Fit Catalog' to pick your
> next new car instead of Consumer Reports.
>
> You start yelling at cars to "hold your line."
>
> You're comfortable bumping elbows with step vans.
>
> You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade
> components.
>
> You clean your bike(s) more often then your car.
>
> You're on the Board of Directors for a Bike Club.
>
> You spend weeks during the summer spraying arrows on the
> sides of roads.
>
> You and your significant other have and wear identical
> riding clothes.
>
> You mount a $600 cap, on a $1,000 pickup truck, s o your
> $3,000 bike doesn't get wet.
>
> You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for
> important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your
> buddies at 5:30 AM for a hammerfest.
>
> You can tell your spouse, with a straight face, that
> it's too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
>
> You regard inter-gender discussion of genital pain as normal.
> You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your
> speed is.
>
> When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel,
> just like an aerobar.
>
> Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is
> full of bikes and cycling gear.
>
> You tailgate a semi-trailer to get the drafting effect.
>
> The Bike Nashbar customer order number is on your speed
> dial.
>
> You hear someone had a crash and your first question is
> "How's the bike?"
>
> You smile at your evening date, and she politely points
> out that you seem to have bugs in your te eth.
>
> You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other
> friends who are addicted to cycling.
>
> And I will add to it:
> You think "I have to shave my legs before I pick her up tonight for
> dinner"
>
>
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--
-Ben

VFX Supe
Laika

[ ben.fischler@gmail.com ]