Candi Murray
We had a discussion a few years ago about when kinds of bikes we all had and
how many. There are over 23 in my basement for the 2 of us and we do not
have time trial bikes. I am sure that there are members that can top this.
right?
C
_____
From: obra-bounces@list.obra.org [mailto:obra-bounces@list.obra.org] On
Behalf Of Ben Fischler
Sent: Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:35 AM
To: obra@list.obra.org
Subject: Re: [OBRA Chat] You know you're addicted to cycling when...
"Two bikes"?!
Who only has two bikes? =P
On Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 10:07 PM, Steven Carper
wrote:
You Know You're Addicted to Cycling When:
Your surgeon tells you need a heart valve replacement
and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.
A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest
Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for
your Cobra.
A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.
The bra your significant other finds in your glove
compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.
You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay
within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your
Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight
on.
You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has
bar end extenders longer than yours.
You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but
pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride
across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's
the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"
You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
You have stopped even trying to explain to your spouse
why you need two bikes...you just go buy another one and figure it will
all work out in the divorce settlement.
You buy your crutches instead of renting.
You convert your car's brake and gas pedals to clipless.
You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection
between hydration and urine color.
You find your Shimano touring shoes to be more
comfortable and stylish than your gunboat sneakers.
You refuse to buy a couch because that patch of
wallspace is taken up by the bike.
You have more money invested in your bike clothes than
in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
Biker chick means bla ck spandex, not leather, and a
Marinoni, not a Harley.
"Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for
you.
You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young woman ride by,
and the first thing you check out is her bicycle.
You empathize with the roadkill.
Despite all that winter fat you put on, you'll skim
weight by buying titanium components.
You use wax on your chain, but not on your car.
Your mud guards are made out of milk jugs.
Your first course when you eat out is a large banana
split.
When driving, you yell "On Your Left!" on passing
another car.
You yell "Hole!" when you see a pothole while driving
your car.
Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's
odometer.
You wear your riding gloves when driving your car.
You wear your bike shorts swimming.
You wear Charles River Wheelmen T-shirts all the time,
including under dress shirts.
Your bi kes are worth more than your car.
You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats
to allow your bikes to fit.
When you move to a new area the first thing you look for
is a bike shop.
You have more bike jerseys than dress shirts.
You take your bike along when you shop for a car - just
to make sure the bike will fit inside.
You use the Yakima or Thule 'Fit Catalog' to pick your
next new car instead of Consumer Reports.
You start yelling at cars to "hold your line."
You're comfortable bumping elbows with step vans.
You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade
components.
You clean your bike(s) more often then your car.
You're on the Board of Directors for a Bike Club.
You spend weeks during the summer spraying arrows on the
sides of roads.
You and your significant other have and wear identical
riding clothes.
You mount a $600 cap, on a $1,000 pickup truck, s o your
$3,000 bike doesn't get wet.
You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for
important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your
buddies at 5:30 AM for a hammerfest.
You can tell your spouse, with a straight face, that
it's too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
You regard inter-gender discussion of genital pain as normal.
You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your
speed is.
When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel,
just like an aerobar.
Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is
full of bikes and cycling gear.
You tailgate a semi-trailer to get the drafting effect.
The Bike Nashbar customer order number is on your speed
dial.
You hear someone had a crash and your first question is
"How's the bike?"
You smile at your evening date, and she politely points
out that you seem to have bugs in your te eth.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other
friends who are addicted to cycling.
And I will add to it:
You think "I have to shave my legs before I pick her up tonight for dinner"
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--
-Ben
VFX Supe
Laika
[ ben.fischler@gmail.com ]