Hartigan, Patrick

Dear Suspect Cyclists,

The moment is almost upon me when I can bid adieu to this hum-drum
work-a-day existence and take my place at the start of the Tour de
France among the few dozen other non-doping cyclists currently active in
the world. While I await the Director Christian Prudhomme call, I want
to thank OBRA for giving me the chance to compete at a level that
ensures I will carry the hopes and dreams of America with honor. Let me
single out Candi Murray for her unflagging encouragement - as I
struggled, year after year, to hang on to the dope-addled pelotons of
yesteryear. It was worth it in the end, wasn't it, Candi?

By the way - they don't test for caffeine...or do they?

Achingly Yours,

Patrick Hartigan - Maillot Jaundice