dennis veatch
Ides Of March
The Portland United Mountain Pedalers would like to formally invite y'all out to Scappoose, Oregon for our 2nd annual springtime off-road ride and celebration of all things PUMP.
Building on the success from last year's Scrappy Scappy ride, this year's (r)Ide's of March event is not to be missed. We've got an entirely new and sparkling (well, not really- it's dirt after all) section of trail to play on, as well as a representative from Kona Bikes, who'll be offering some of their fine new machines for demo.
We'll also be showcasing what figures to be an interesting mid-day time trial course, replete with a dizzy-bat section and other potential nausea-inducing course shortcut options. Though there may be some modest prizes awarded for completion of said course in timely fashion, this will be far from your typical competitive affair, and those disputing our judges rulings should expect to be attacked by rambunctious, unruly mobs and fed to the sasquatches that are rumored to roam the fringes of the trail system.
Like last year, we'll also be offering a mid-ride snack buffet (of
sorts) and other various refreshments. As this is Portland, we'll try to maintain the spirit of our local traditions as much as possible and get some Stumptown grinds and exotic dancers out there as well (though we can't necessarily guarantee anything related to the quality of entertainment and it's entirely possible budgetary constraints will necessitate those dancers are beer-gutted, lycra- clad mountain bikers, so be warned.)
For those not familiar with the Scappoose trails, we really offer something for everyone, ranging from the twisty, flowing and relatively leisurely cross-country style, to gnarly and gut-wrenching technical drops and climbs. Those downhillers and free-riders among you may have to follow some directions from the locals, but should be able to find something to satisfy your needs as well. Also be aware that there will be ride groups of varying skill levels, conditioning, genders and species (yes, there will even be a mangy, rabid and flea- infested group) offered, so if you're concerned that you'll have trouble keeping up, it's likely that there's a group tailored to your riding style. Though mostly lacking in rocks, the trails are really quite technical, with lots of short steep climbs, descents and challenging switchbacks, so if you're a true beginner to the sport, this may not be the ride for you.
We'll be meeting at the Scappoose area Fred Meyer parking lot on route 30 at 10:00 a.m., where we'll convene a leisurely two-mile ride to the trailhead. A festive, post-ride siege and overthrow of some local culinary establishment at a yet to be determined location will surely follow, and you can figure to be hungry/thirsty. Feel free to contact PUMP via the PUMP forums (http://pumpclub.org/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=341), rwkilgre2003@yahoo.com or John Joy at 503-708-5752 and we look forward to seeing you...