Dude, THANK YOU! You've expressed what I didn't dare. Ever since winning the Queen Event of Mt. Tabor Circuit Race last weekend, the Masters 40+ cat 4/5, my life has been hell.
I didn't make it ten feet past the finish line before I was grabbed by souvenir-seekers, my jersey ripped from me, and my water bottle - still dripping with a viscous mixture of saliva and Cytomax - pried from my lips by shrieking fans. I autographed it, of course, but I felt demeaned and ridiculed by the objectification.
And it didn't let up. Malach was there, of course - he stalks me, did you know that? - and he interviewed me with actions that, as I've been subsequently advised by both the S.E. Precinct AND an assistant DA, can technically be considered either unlawful restraint or sexual assault, while peppering me with questions for a profile he SAYS he's going to run during the racing lull this weekend (just some pro event out of town).
After he was through with me (and man I really wanted to shower after what he did with that mic) I had to run the usual gauntlet: Oregonian, Cycling News, Men's Health, Arthritis Today, which didn't relent even when rumors swirled that Tonkin had arrived on a 'cross bike demanding to know if he could cut out the dog-leg on the climb and just ride up the stairs.
And Mark! Can you believe it still hasn't stopped?! On my commute just this morning (I always have to work the commute angle), a garbage truck driver came right up next to me on Sandy, rolled down his window and, just I was bracing for the usual grudging praise of my riding skills, I heard this faint but unmistakable cry over his shrieking brakes and hydraulics: "TTAAAABBBORRR!!!"
I've been considering giving the whole thing up - the attention isn't worth it for me, and it's not fair to my family - but then I keep thinking back to Candi Murray and the Finish-Line Judgettes there in the Tabor parking lot after the race, all lined up, arms over each other's shoulders, high-stepping in perfect synchronicity, singing in their dulcet tones (to the tune of 'Mr. Postman') "New-bie Racer, Racing for me-e. Did you Win? Wait and see-ee..." and I think, yeah. Yeah. It's worth it...
-----Original Message-----
From: obra-bounces@list.obra.org [mailto:obra-bounces@list.obra.org] On Behalf Of Mark Armstrong
Sent: Tuesday, May 31, 2011 8:32 PM
To: obra@list.obra.org
Subject: [OBRA Chat] Fawning Over Newbies
Dear OBRA Members and Supporters,
First I would like to thank all of the wonderful people that make up OBRA. Seriously a terrific group of people that all do their best to make bicycle racing in Oregon a fantastic participatory experience for all that race and those that cheer them on, really feels like a big, multifaceted family. And not to mention the race organizers and all their unsung efforts (and sometimes sung) just so that a bunch of masochistic bike nuts can torture themselves for fun and their clans can cheer them on. But one of the things I like most about OBRA is it's support of the new racers whether they be juniors, cat 4 women or cat 5 men. Racing seminars, Monday PIR, Tuesday PIR, Friday Alpenrose, the Norm Babcock cat 4 women's series all are great ways that OBRA nurtures tomorrow's competent racers. I love it!
My only complaint is all the attention paid to these future bad-asses in the form of third party photographers and journalists. Enough already! If I see one more picture of a Monday PIR Novice race or have to read a write-up of the Norm Babcock Cat 4 Women's series I'm going to scream! I don't know of a single Cat 5 man or Cat 4 woman that has any desire to see a picture of themselves sprinting in the final meters of their first podium finish or read about how they are battling for a series title of some sort in their first couple years of racing. We can all do without that.
Anyway OBRA, keep up that great work and thanks for all you all do.
Mark
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