Retort: "Seattle Hath Won the Grail Della Grunge"

B Witty

2002-11-18

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Retort: "Seattle Hath Won the Grail Della Grunge"

By: The'Cross Crusade Scribe



On a dark and gloomy day that will live in infamy, the Grail Della Grunge

Cup was captured by the heathen hobbits of the Seattle Metro Series in a

battle of wits and will (that will is marked by the deceit of the Metro boys

cleverly disguised in 'Cross Crusade Beanies). After witnessing a race in

which the crusaders Wicks, Tonkin, Skerrit, and Mazza fought valiantly for

domination- only to fall finally to Sundt, Knapp, Nussbaum, and Grande- the

knights of the Crusade present(Ross and Potestio) reluctantly filled the

Grail with our hallowed brew and watched in horror as the Metro boys reveled

in their brief moment of glory.



Un-phased by such a gross display of unabashed celebratory self conceit, the

Knights joined with their brethren, Bro. Jesse (aka Brody) Anderson and

Shannon Skerrit, to formulate a plan for the recapture of the holiest of

Grails and return the holy vessel to its rightful home at River City

Bicycles in Portland.



Seattle, once dubbed the epicenter of Cross- but resembling nothing more

that a deep flooded crack in the earth- had the coveted Grail, secured in

their sorry excuse of a van. Suggesting that they intended form an alliance

with the Sultans of Surf in Santa Cruz (where ALL the cross racers wear

surfer trunks at their "love-in" 'cross race series), they tried to hide the

Grail from the mighty Crusaders of Portland. However, the valiant Brother

"Jesse" Anderson (in a blistering display of speed never before seen on his

bike) grabbed the Grail and ran for the safety of Ross's new pimpin'

4runner. But the attempted theft was thwarted by the fleet footed Knapp and

his side-kick Dale Plant......Bro "Jesse", finding himself in a Dale

sandwich, was forced to leave the Grail in the Metro boy's possession.



Meanwhile, huddled around the cases of MacTarnahans, a plan was hatched by

Ross and Potestio. The plan: a) Shannon Skerrit would create a diversion,

b) Ross would commandeer the aforementioned getaway vehicle, c) Potestio,

and his more than ample girth, would run inerferance while, d) Bro "Jesse"

would grab the cup for the good of the (never mind).



Sneaking through the hobbit infested woods, they came upon the van with the

coveted prize inside. Shannon's distraction worked and the Knights of the

'Cross Crusade indeed re-captured the Grail, only to turn and find

themselves being run down by one Craig Undem in his minivan. The Crusaders

ran- with Undem on foot and in hot pursuit- back through the woods, down the

cliff and into the street (with little regard for their own lives), into an

on-coming wave of SUV's bearing "go Huskies" bumper stickers. The chasers

stopped, fearing an SUV would defile the Grail upon impact. However, it was

short lived as Undem- making up precious time- now continued his chase

across the street after the gallant crusaders. Undem, who is a much faster

runner than one could have imagined (must be the CTS training) eventually

caught them and started what became one of the epic battles of all time.

Undem fought with the senseless fierceness of a barbarian, and yet was not

able to wrestle the Grail away from Potestio's clutches. At this point a

Mercedes had pinned the Crusader's getaway vehicle- out jumped a 'cross

racer wearing the revered crusade beanie. Po relaxed his grip to welcome

the help, when to the great shock of us all- the true loyalty of this racer

was revealed and the treachery exposed- he was a Metro boy and with the

element of surprise on his side, he took control of the

Grail................................for the time being



Inconsolable and desperately pissed off, and with little hope for recovery

of the Grail, the crusaders departed the damp dreary confines of the Pungent

Sound for the safe haven of Portland. It is here we find them

now....plotting their revenge.....and scheming for the takeover of the

entire national campaign in Napa.....











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<P ALIGN=LEFT><B><FONT SIZE=4>Retort:  "Seattle Hath Won the Grail Della Grunge"</FONT></B></P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT><B>By: The'Cross Crusade Scribe</B></P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>On a dark and gloomy day that will live in infamy, the Grail Della Grunge Cup was captured by the heathen hobbits of the Seattle Metro Series in a battle of wits and will (that will is marked by the deceit of the Metro boys cleverly disguised in 'Cross Crusade Beanies).  After witnessing a race in which the crusaders Wicks, Tonkin, Skerrit, and Mazza fought valiantly for domination- only to fall finally to Sundt, Knapp, Nussbaum, and Grande- the knights of the Crusade present(Ross and Potestio) reluctantly filled the Grail with our hallowed brew and watched in horror as the Metro boys reveled in their brief moment of glory.</P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>        </P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>Un-phased by such a gross display of unabashed celebratory self conceit, the Knights joined with their brethren, Bro. Jesse (aka Brody) Anderson and Shannon Skerrit, to formulate a plan for the recapture of the holiest of Grails and return the holy vessel to its rightful home at River City Bicycles in Portland.</P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>Seattle, once dubbed the epicenter of Cross- but resembling nothing more that a deep flooded crack in the earth- had the coveted Grail, secured in their sorry excuse of a van.  Suggesting that they intended form an alliance with the Sultans of Surf in Santa Cruz (where ALL the cross racers wear surfer trunks at their "love-in" 'cross race series), they tried to hide the Grail from the mighty Crusaders of Portland. However, the valiant Brother "Jesse" Anderson (in a blistering display of speed never before seen on his bike) grabbed the Grail and ran for the safety of Ross's new pimpin' 4runner.  But the attempted theft was thwarted by the fleet footed Knapp and his side-kick Dale Plant......Bro "Jesse", finding himself in a Dale sandwich, was forced to leave the Grail in the Metro boy's possession.</P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>Meanwhile, huddled around the cases of MacTarnahans, a plan was hatched by Ross and Potestio.  The plan: a) Shannon Skerrit would create a diversion, b) Ross would commandeer the aforementioned getaway vehicle, c) Potestio, and his more than ample girth, would run inerferance while, d) Bro "Jesse" would grab the cup for the good of the (never mind).</P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>Sneaking through the hobbit infested woods, they came upon the van with the coveted prize inside.  Shannon's distraction worked and the Knights of the 'Cross Crusade indeed re-captured the Grail, only to turn and find themselves being run down by one Craig Undem in his minivan.  The Crusaders ran- with Undem on foot and in hot pursuit- back through the woods, down the cliff and into the street (with little regard for their own lives), into an on-coming wave of SUV's bearing "go Huskies" bumper stickers.  The chasers stopped, fearing an SUV would defile the Grail upon impact. However, it was short lived as Undem- making up precious time- now continued his chase across the street after the gallant crusaders.  Undem, who is a much faster runner than one could have imagined (must be the CTS training) eventually caught them and started what became one of the epic battles of all time.  Undem fought with the senseless fierceness of a barbarian, and yet was not able to wrestle the Grail away from Potestio's clutches.  At this point a Mercedes had pinned the Crusader's getaway vehicle- out jumped a 'cross racer wearing the revered crusade beanie.  Po relaxed his grip to welcome the help, when to the great shock of us all- the true loyalty of this racer was revealed and the treachery exposed- he was a Metro boy and with the element of surprise on his side, he took control of the Grail................................for the time being</P>



<P ALIGN=LEFT>Inconsolable and desperately pissed off, and with little hope for recovery of the Grail, the crusaders departed the damp dreary confines of the Pungent Sound for the safe haven of Portland.  It is here we find them now....plotting their revenge.....and scheming for the takeover of the entire national campaign in Napa.....</P>

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