Joe Zauner
I would never approach a motorist in this way.
Judging from the final tearful reaction of the driver it sounds like she was hitting the pipe earlier in the day. Meth heads: their emotions roll like a roulette wheel. You never know where they'll land. You're lucky the passenger didn't pull a .38 from the glove box and shoot you in the ball sack.
Here's how's I approached an irate motorist last week who was obese, which, for some reason, happens all the time to me.
Me to driver: Good day fellow citizen. Aren't you sick of these cyclists taking up the road?
Driver: Hells yeah I ams, ass wipe.
Me: Wanna know what I'm sick of?
Driver: Whacha talkin about Willis?
Me: I'm tired of fat people like yourself driving up the cost of health care for the rest of us otherwise healthy people. I'm tired of watching folks like you waddling across McDonalds parking lots and all the time I can't help but think, "Wow. There goes another $100,000 doctor bill waiting to happen." And of course the first thing you'll do upon getting discharged from the hospital is head down to the 7-Eleven to stock up on pork rinds, Mountain Dew and Newports. Maybe if you walked someplace other than from your couch to the refrigerator we wouldn't have a health care crisis in America. The only health care crisis I have to worry about is when somebody like you gets behind the wheel , fat ass.
Driver: (Tearing up and becoming remorseful) You're right, sir. I am a fat ass. (He gestures to the back seat where there's an enormous pile of empty Happy Meal boxes and Big Gulp cups.)
Fat ass and I were nearing the end of our quickly-becoming-positive interaction when his passenger suddenly pulled a .38 from the glove box and shot me in the ball sack, which is why I always wear a bullet proof cup when I ride.
Anyway, the lesson here is to never approach heated drivers because they can't be reasoned with... unless you want to flip the script like I sometimes do. And if you do that be sure to wear your bullet proof cup.
Just my 2 cents.
Joe
> Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2012 11:47:07 -0700
> From: peacefulhome46@yahoo.com
> To: obra@list.obra.org
> Subject: [OBRA Chat] tangling with motorists
>
> I read a post here yesterday regarding frustration with motorists. I am sure each of us can share more than a handful of cases with confrontations or near misses with motorist not paying attention, or exerting their might with their two ton fury on wheels.
>
> While not one to confront erratic drivers, I have in the back of my mind relished the moment when an opportune moment could present itself where I could catch an out of control motorist tangling with a cyclist and put them in their place. Well, just before July of this year that happened. I have short route for days when I feel like just working out the kinks, and ride down to Kelly Point Park and back home to Jantzen Beach. On the return leg, I do not go the full lenght of Marine Drive, but turn off and go through the industrial area, which on Sundays are just about void of any cars. So I make the industrial are loop and just about to the French Bakery Building on Marine Drive when then from behind...not one, but two very long horn blasts. During this I am far in the right side near the curb. The car(van) passes me and such a nice gesture of flipping me the number one.
>
> So I surmize the situation and yell back, I forgot the road was all yours! Thinking quickly about safety and surroundings, I catch the van at the stop sign. Women driver(not that it matters) and her girlfriend. I signaled for them to stop which they did and I pulled right up to her door and gave her my piece of mind. Fully aware this is not an age when most people wouldn't think of brandishing a weapon, I continued with telling the women my position. She says" All you cyclists don't pay attention and think you own the road", which followed with my rebuttal that there was no traffic; I was far to the right, and I might ad that you used your horn in a fashion that was not reserved for an emergency, rather in a fit of out right road rage....which all being no less than the facts. I continued with reminding her of this and that her license plate was clearly in my memory. At this point she started to break down in tears with an apology. All this time her friend was taking all of this in d
> isbelief of what an ass she made of herself unecessarily going of in a tyraid.
>
> Did I feel good about putting her in her place? You bet. Was it my place to do that? Probably not, but assuredly there are many more situations like this, and assuredly there are far more motorist on the road not paying attention that there are cyclist not paying attention. And far more motorist on the road that think their cars are the only thing that should be allowed on the roads.
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