My sad day in cycling

Dear friends, family, teammates, fans, OBRA, and sponsors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide
my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, testosterone,
Clenbuterol, Actovegin, and rhinoceros horn. I did not want to use these
products but I thought everyone else was doing it. I took these products
between March 1981 and November 2012.

I deeply regret, feel ashamed of, take responsibility for, and don't care
what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help
bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

This day of confession and self assessment comes at a time of much turmoil
in my life as I am beginning to grasp the reality that even with numerous
drugs to include drinking shark piss I am still slow. I constantly tell
myself that with every shred of endangered species I eat (to include boiled
great horn owl and passenger pigeon breasts) I will eventually find the
solution to produce sick watts. Due to these recent revelations I have
decided to start a non profit to provide financial resources so more people
can dope, this organization is named "BIFD" (bikers in favor of doping)

Sincerely,
BM